Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The accepting, and being accepted

It’s wrong isn’t it? When you don’t accept what others are like, but you want the others to accept you the way you are.

In my case, I was trying hard to understand. Why is one behaving like this, though I’m not verbal about it (it’s more to not ‘gossiping about it’). Let me do it in here, by the heart I was given.

This world is colorful. So, I had to understand, why one is behaving like this, his or her purpose of doing so. I can’t just immediately judge, because the key to one’s healing and peace, is to understand. Not by merely judged, just looking and oh yeah! That’s it!

Believe me. I’ve been judged. I also had been misunderstood. I don’t want to do such thing to anyone. Because it hurts, really. That is why, I tend to listen. Only then do I speak, and if it was to be accepted or not, it’s up to those who are listening.

And it hurts me so much (try to think of a peeled apple), when I tried hard to understand, and the other party is not even trying to understand. It hurts deeper (okay, imagine that apple juice), when the other party is the one I had kept faith to. How come one can’t accept that other party is..you know, made like this? When one had already accepted the other the way they are. If one was not to accept you, don’t they would avoid you so the other party wouldn’t be meddling in your business?

I had been looking for the place I belong to. Where people there can accept me the way I am, and I promised myself that I will accept them no matter how they are. I mean, wow! Not everyone can understand why one is so passionate about dinosaurs, and befriend with that person. And to be fair, we’ll change the part where we hate, and we’ll help each other on that. It seems that, all my effort goes to waste. Think I found one place, but I was being kicked in very respective manner.

I’m sorry for being selfish (not even stepping to the fish market). That anger, that babble, that lunatic act, that lack of patience of mine. I was being myself. I’m so sorry you couldn’t accept that. I’m so sorry I had ever think that I’m one of you guys and act shamelessly like you guys had accepted me.

Think I had misunderstand myself once again, mianhe….. I had loved you guys. Think I had to take that back.

Current song: Super Junior-TWINS (knock out)

p/s: maybe I’ll consider cheating*sigh* but I’m born loyal…..

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