Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Imma be Imma be Imma Imma be . . . .

Almost 4 in the morning and I just finished my Korean cluttering home works. I did some intensive study since I found myself being left out at some apparent point. LOL! Oh, and while I'm typing this, heck I forgot to hang dry my red dress and funny how I need to wear it tomorrow at 1PM. I hope it'd dry soon enough for me to wear on our faculty's event =3=

I don't know how to give you a picture of the ridiculously busy me in the past few weeks. At some point, I found myself randomly dancing and annoying my room mate/class mate just because I couldn't even think how can I cope with my own schedule. It's insane; but I love my life. I feels so important and useful. And the greatest thing is not to get bored.

I like to do my best; I really want to. And I do learnt that if I run for this, I wouldn't get the other. But really, I'm such a stubborn girl. I wouldn't give up until I found myself FAILed on that.

My university is probably the most insane university with 7 subjects per semester to pass through. For my current semester, we need to do lots of out-campus research and not that I don't enjoy it, but the fact that we also got additional tasks like being in the student body. I love my faculty, I do. But for a fangirl who is busy basking herself on fanclubs and spent majority of her life online, the activities are kind of. . . . irritating to me. But as I'm a dedicated student and would like to stay as a good fangirl/student, I'd attend. Every each of them. To support. Yeah. I'mcornysodon'tstartaskingwhy.

I do tell you how BAD I am in designing stuffs. Yes. And for my own torture, this semester we need to do lots of designing stuffs. Wow. And I don't even know what the heck is lasso tool when I sneaked in Photoshop. Not to mention we had to be specialized on InDesign as well, oh. You know, Publishing students. We do Illustration later on @.@ OMG. . . . Please let me be alive.

As to keep my energy HIGH, I walked to campus. So I wouldn't pant when I need to have high stamina in the future. When I hit back home, I'm so freaking tired and went to sleep earlier than I'd expect myself to fall asleep. My sorority sisters always found me lying in front of the tellly; struggling to watch tv LOL

One task down; still I got piling jobs to be done. And to actually REALLY understand one subject; I need more time to study and to be away from Darius. But being away from Darius means leaving fangirling for a while. And its really scary when I did that, I GET EVEN MORE JOBS to be done. Seriously, why is it so hard to be a uni student+fangirl?

I almost cry at a point. When I need a friend to talk to about this, its almost impossible. Think about it, who would understand why do I need to take fangirling seriously? Simply people would kindly/cynically ask me to erase away that one hobby of mine. And if I went to fangirls, LOL. Not everybody knew me really well as in privately me. Some just totally scared of me, some are taking me for granted and some just don't care. Really, I'm struggling by myself all this while.

What motivates me is you. Yes. You. ELFs out there. Why do I need to be here, why am I being so hard on myself, is because of you. I had the ability, I'll use it. I had the chance, I'll take it. I had a dream, I'll achieve it. Everything I did, you fangirls out there are my motivation.

And when I'm almost giving up; thinking this is too much for me to handle;

I know Sungmin is facing a lot more hardships than I do. And he keep on amusing people with his awesome hardworking attitude. Its been a while since I see him updating his Cyworld. And I know he had been so busy, he didn't have time to. What Sungjin wrote on his brother's page convinced me that my prediction is nothing but accurate.

Sungmin had never fail to motivates me as to bring out the best in me. If he is walking slowly; achieving his dreams to be a multi-talented entertainer, why can't I jogs slowly besides him, achieving my own dreams to be a multi-purpose person (ROFLMAO!!) in future. He probably had his share of bitterness as to get to where he is right now, I might be experiencing it now.

Since when hooded-sweats looks sexy to me? *_______*

Its not too much to say that Sungmin had been my drugs since I made him my bias. To only had a thoughts of him randomly could make me smile and filled with enormous energy to move on.

I hope it applies to you all out there too ^^ Happy Early Chinese New Year~ This year is a Tiger year, I hope everybody could ROAR even more this year! XD And yeay for SSII is going to happen in this year too~ we just need our Beijing Fried Rice, our Kibum actor and Bear Kangin to complete this happiness :)

I'll fly to Australia and break his bones! He is hilarious like seriously XD


p/s: I want to say lots of things about Kyuhyun's incident, Shindong's statement and such. But its getting lame if I blogged about it now, its too late LOL. Just I wish you wouldn't be blind on being supportive (you must find a concrete fact) and emotional on plucking them out of your life (you must see the nature of this entertainment tabloid business).