Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The accepting, and being accepted

It’s wrong isn’t it? When you don’t accept what others are like, but you want the others to accept you the way you are.

In my case, I was trying hard to understand. Why is one behaving like this, though I’m not verbal about it (it’s more to not ‘gossiping about it’). Let me do it in here, by the heart I was given.

This world is colorful. So, I had to understand, why one is behaving like this, his or her purpose of doing so. I can’t just immediately judge, because the key to one’s healing and peace, is to understand. Not by merely judged, just looking and oh yeah! That’s it!

Believe me. I’ve been judged. I also had been misunderstood. I don’t want to do such thing to anyone. Because it hurts, really. That is why, I tend to listen. Only then do I speak, and if it was to be accepted or not, it’s up to those who are listening.

And it hurts me so much (try to think of a peeled apple), when I tried hard to understand, and the other party is not even trying to understand. It hurts deeper (okay, imagine that apple juice), when the other party is the one I had kept faith to. How come one can’t accept that other party know, made like this? When one had already accepted the other the way they are. If one was not to accept you, don’t they would avoid you so the other party wouldn’t be meddling in your business?

I had been looking for the place I belong to. Where people there can accept me the way I am, and I promised myself that I will accept them no matter how they are. I mean, wow! Not everyone can understand why one is so passionate about dinosaurs, and befriend with that person. And to be fair, we’ll change the part where we hate, and we’ll help each other on that. It seems that, all my effort goes to waste. Think I found one place, but I was being kicked in very respective manner.

I’m sorry for being selfish (not even stepping to the fish market). That anger, that babble, that lunatic act, that lack of patience of mine. I was being myself. I’m so sorry you couldn’t accept that. I’m so sorry I had ever think that I’m one of you guys and act shamelessly like you guys had accepted me.

Think I had misunderstand myself once again, mianhe….. I had loved you guys. Think I had to take that back.

Current song: Super Junior-TWINS (knock out)

p/s: maybe I’ll consider cheating*sigh* but I’m born loyal…..

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'm Bad, really really bad


A broken relationship. After all the effort that I have been putting. It’s like stupid when you had to call it a quit. It’s a shame actually, especially when you had cry over it, and all.

I think my tears are bit cheap though. I cry for almost about anything. But I can’t help it. Especially when it comes to people that I care about and things I really love. Maybe this time, I learnt a thing or two.

Don’t put your trust just too easy. Don’t say things when you don’t believe in that person. Cry no more. Try not being too overboard. Because, I will get hurt after it than. What happen to me? I had pre-mature love story with someone I never expect would come to my life. I stops it before it even start. And this time, it happens to someone I called out as second family. A dear (not) brother of mine.

But it’s done. I had sought solutions. And he believed other people than he believes in me. There is no need for explanation because when I tried to do so, he just wouldn’t listen. I had suffered just too much. Cry just too much. Thinking just too much. I even risk my pride; it’s always me to persuade him we should be okay. All that he wanted for me is feeling guilty. He doesn’t want anything but that. Selfish relationship just would ends up like this. So, there is no surprise actually.

Maybe he thinks I’m a liar. He thinks that I don’t keep secrets. He thinks I’m being unfair. It’s up to you. Why on earth did you take me as a sister back before this? He blindly takes me to be his sis, and than he blindly alleged me to all that stuff. Simple. You take me, you ditch me, and yeah. This is what you get. You’re broken all alone because of your stupid decision.

I’m a woman. I’m a proud woman. This little kid had belittles my title and I had weaken to think that we are sharing ‘brotherhood’. God. Did I mention that my girls hated me when I cry about fighting with him? Yes. They think I’m weak back then. So here I am, being the steel like I used to be. I would laugh and would move on like nothing had happened.

Say whatever you want. Think whatever you please. Do whatever you love. I am not in your life anymore to even care about it.

To all the girls out there. Stand tall. Walk with chins up. Feel happy. Do smile, never frown. We are woman. We are beautiful when we are happy and we look awful when we are crying. So, cry when there is nobody looking. Haha!

Friday, October 3, 2008

A little break from exhaustment

Annyeong~ it’s been a while!! (Like I said, it’s really been a while~~~).

When I left this community, it’s been exhausting months for me, doing all the events that are organized by my club. We had concert (it was mini, but it’s fun ^^), members gathering, members registering and upcoming soon, we’re going to have some summer camp for the super-senior members and audition for the new members as we’re leaving the club. I can’t believe I’m grabbing my diploma the next year!!

Around my period of absentness, Super Junior had won the award as the Best Korean Artist at MAA!!! Yay!!! Thanks for voting you guys!! It’s really worth it to have the voting widget plastered all over my social network stuffs. Hehehe~ They came to Malaysia and my girlfriends (Priceless Voice, our team similar to SuJu ^^) had seen them alive!! The words that spills out from them are; they look like they came from another dimension, with shines and halos like no other. And it’s funny how the fans are acting like mad when they see SuJu walked the red carpet but completely silenced when the other artists like Pussycat Dolls and Joe Flizzow is walking the carpet. Aww~~ show some support next time, ELFes!! ^^ But if it was me, I would act the same too~ Who cares~ hahah!

While Super Junior is at their peak, Shinee dongsaeng is having their MNet choice award and reality tv show; YunHaNam where they should date the noonas to win the game. Uh! I wanna be one of the noonas too~~ the noonas are so fortunate to meet the talented youngsters~~ You should watch them in School of Rock where they dressed as girls to play some drama!! ROFL

There are some rumors about Shindong losing too much weight and became slim. I had posted the news at SMtown Malaysia, sparking the rumors around but the thing is actually, it’s a prank Shindong oppa is playing around by himself. Ahh!! And I was being the dumb one to post it all over my favorite social forums!!! Huhuhuhuhu~ In the other hand, Kyuhyunnie won the first position for the favorite maknae in Korea. Ahhahaha~ Super Junior M is promoting their latest song; Me. I haven’t listen the song yet but my girls said is very lovely and meaningful~

Oh! And the latest on DBSK, their fourth album is out!! Fans had been missing them in Korean album~ their latest album, entitled Mirotic, is offering the newly, modern touch of DBSK. They are promoting Mirotic song (which I ended being so addictive to ^^) and Hey, Now!. The MV is a major eye candy for the ladies, and maybe guys would love to learn their charm too in the MV.
Nowadays, I found myself amused at the rapstress Yoobin from Wonder Girls. I'm also amazed at Hyoyeon of SNSD's popping and waving dance, it's very cool. Though I had been MoMusu's fan since I heard of them (like I was twelve or so), but I never think of getting into the K-girls music. When I heard Wonder Girls' So Hot rap, I was tantalized (I'm a rapstress myself). Oh, and about SNSD. I read the lyrics translation of Girls'Generation's song, and it was nice for a girl like me. It suddenly become my theme song recently. Anyway, Wonder Girls is promoting 'Nobody' and it's a really nice song. While I heard that SNSD is going to star in 'Factory Girls' where they act as fashion's commentator. Looking forward for them!! ^^

Here are some YouTube links for the vidz that I highly suggest to you. Enjoy!!
DBSK's Mirotic MV:-
DBSK's comment on Mirotic:-
Mirotic Live:-
Wonder Girls' Nobody MV:-
With lots of love,

Heaven a.k.a Majestic_Heaven

p/s: Aye, I would leave this blog again and be busy again after this holiday. Gaahhhh!! I wish I could really manage my time and get the broadband by my own. I should gather some money to buy it~~